The Adventures of KatjaMichelle

A non-northwest native tries to figure out adulthood and survive Tacoma

[Online] Dating: DTR By Proxy?

Approximately a week ago I had my first date with Mohawk.  Since that first date we’ve texted a lot and seen eachother a few times.  It’s been a lot of fun and I think I like him.  So whats the problem? (And you know I wouldn’t be writing about it unless there were a problem)

The problem is apparently he likes me a LOT.  At the end of our third date he pulled out of a kiss and the following ensued.

Mohawk: “I love you”

Me: silent trying not to look terrified thinking “you don’t even KNOW me”

Mohawk: “what?”

Me: “nothing”

Mohawk: silent and I have NO IDEA what he was thinking

Me: “what?”

Mohawk: “nothing”

And that was the end of the evening.  My plan was is to ignore the “L” word that  obviously was said in error because I have a good time with this guy and want to see where this whole dating thing goes.

Then the next day he invited me to watch him bowl.  Yeah have I mentioned he bowls…on a league…so NOT my type at all.  So after I agree he mentions I’ll be meeting his mother who bowls in the same league (different team).  Yep met the parents after 1 week of dating.  AWKWARD. (btw bowling alleys smell like ass just one more reason I don’t bowl).

Today we reached the trifecta.  He refered to himself as my boyfriend. Which I guess isn’t that bad considering the other two, but it has me on edge.  WHO DOES THAT?

Who defines a relationship after a week, but moreso who does it in their own head and just assumes the other party is onboard!?

Couples Counseling with an Ex?

During our semi-regular Margarita Monday IT-Guy and I began discussing our recent dating woes.  One way I know our friendship is back on track is the depth and honesty in these dating conversations.  At one point this is how it went,

IT-Guy: “Have you ever thought, and I only bring this up because I’ve been thinking about it for me, but have you ever considered-”

ME: “Let me guess therapy?”

IT-Guy: “But like couples counseling”

ME: “hahaha yeah I have actually thought about that but I’m never in a couple long enough for it to be realistic”

IT-Guy: “well what about individual couples counseling”

ME: “Or like we go together and get couples counseling but so that we can be functioning adults in OTHER couples”

IT-Guy: “YES!”

So we spent about 20 more minuted discussing how we should find a couples counselor and go together and basically use eachother as stand ins for our future partners.  It was hilarious…and garnered a few strange looks from other patrons. Throughout the meal I picked the bell peppers out of his fajitas because my taco salad didnt’ come with bell peppers and I love bell peppers and  the waitress took away my napkin when she cleared my plate so we sharred his napkin…and then i got mad when the waitress was referred to me as his girlfriend…looking back i can understand the confusion.

Online Dating: Not My Type

I often say I don’t have a type.  Afterall I date men of all races, backgrounds, professions, education levels, etc.  But last night I went out with a man so unlike anyone I’ve ever dated before.  He’s only 5′9” (i’m 5′8” and like to wear heels).  He has 6 tattoos with plans for more. He has a blue mohawk. He’s my age (I usually date men at least 5 years older than me). And I like him.

To tell the truth I’m a little disappointed that I like him.  I know most people date searching for love or at least lust, but recently I’ve just been searching for a good story.  I mean aren’t we all tired of hearing about the married felon? I know I’m tired of telling that one so I need a new one.  I’m kind of disappointed. Pathetic I know what kind of person is disappointed that a date went well? Me thats who.

UPDATE: I have a second date with Mohawk scheduled for Wednesday.

Well Hell

So i just noticed that my blog timestamp is off.  Instead of showing my local time it’s been eight hours ahead.  Really not a big deal EXCEPT it means that my posts have the wrong dates on them and it appears I skipped a day of NaBloPoMo.  But I didn’t I wrote everyday! Stupid time stamp.  Good thing I realized this early so now I know I’ve already screwed up and it doesn’t matter if I write everyday now. 

 

Online Dating: Does Race Matter?

While I haven’t been at this online dating thing exceptionally long I have played with a few different sites and they all have one thing in common: They are crap at sorting matches for race.

See I’m what some would call an, “other” but I detest checking the “other” box so when given the option to “check all that apply” I go for it.  Each of the dating sites I have used give me the option to choose all that apply.  However, it appears their software doesn’t register that more than one was selected and automatically put me in the mixed category it puts me in BOTH categories. (Which is technically more accurate than a mixed category.) It wouldn’t be a big deal except some people are VERY specific about the race of people they will or will not date.  For instance some caucasian people who are very shall we say emphatic about their displeasure of my profile ending up in their matches for the day.

I have emailed customer service about this problem and recieved a form letter in response so I’ve decided just to ignore it, but it got me thinking.  Is race that important?  I know that to some it is, that for some dating “outside your race” is more than taboo its practically a sin.  But that doesn’t work for me, not only on a philosophical level but just on a practical level.  To date “inside my race” would finding someone mixed with the same races as I am be sufficent or would they need to be exactly the same percentage? Or should I subscribe to hypodecent and just find someone who’s “less desirable minority” race is the same as mine? 

But because I know its important to some it doesn’t bother me when I come across a profile that says they’re only interested in caucasian women.  And it only annoys me slightly when two specific races are selected; it feels more like they are being selected in for perhaps specific reasons than that the others are being excluded. But when I come across a profile that lists EVERY race  including mixed and other but excludes black it is beyond annoying, it pisses me off.

 

An Open Letter To Washington Drivers

Dear Washington Drivers,

The left lane of the interstate is the fast lane.  If you are in this lane doing the speed limit and someone comes up behind you please move to your right. If I am in front of you and you come up quickly behind me I will assume you wish to go faster than the 10 over the speed limit I am currently going and will likewise yield the fast lane to you.  If this occurs please pass me in an appropriate time frame.  Do not hang out in my blind spot making it impossible for me to reenter the fast lane. 

Also going 10 below the speed limit through chambers and then speeding through Steilacoom is not only annoying but also unwise. Steilacoom=speed trap. 

Lastly, but most importantly it rains all the damn time here LEARN TO DRIVE IN IT.

Thanks so much,

KatjaMichelle

Because I Don’t Have Enough To Do…

…I signed up for both NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo. Thats right.  I signed up to write a blog post every single day for the entire month of November AND to write a 50 thousand word novel by midnight 30 November. 

Any bets how long long before I give up on each?

Well lets see it’s already 4pm on November 1 and I’ve yet to write a single word toward my novel.  I’m only just now posting to my blog.  I’ve also not done a bit of research for EITHER of my grad school projects, a single load of laundry, or the dishes.  Oh and I’m still in my pjs (although last night was quite a night so I forgive myself this last point).

So basically what I’m saying is that as a means to procrastinate from my homework and housework i signed up for two new things that I will now procrastinate instead of doing.  I am AWESOME at procrastination.

Recent Thoughts on Dating

I’ve been getting most of my warm and fuzzies vicariously recently.  Reading stories of an online friend’s relationship, hearing the details about the engagements of two classmates, seeing my brother-in-law with my sister and nieces during his 2week trip home from Afghanistan.  All warm and fuzzy inducing events that one would think would inspire me to persue my own warm and fuzzy moments. 

But they don’t. Quite the opposite to be honest. Searching for my own warm and fuzzy moments seems like way too much work when I can be almost as satisfied by watching others.  Other’s who aren’t quite to socially retarded and emotionally stunted.

On the other hand I had drinks with IT-Guy monday. While our friendship will never be what it was it is being revived and we even shared our dating fiascos.  I felt flares of jealousy but didn’t let them overpower me.  In the past those flares of jealousy would spin me into shunning the dating world.  Why bother dating when I’m still in love with IT-Guy. 

But it didn’t. In fact my competitive nature kicked in and I came home and began searching the dating site again.  Admittedly not the most mature reason to date but there it is nonetheless.

So here I am not really feeling the need to date because I’m satisfied watching the happiness of those around me and yet wanting to date because I can’t let IT-Guy win.  And not just that I don’t want him to find a successful relationship before me (although honestly I don’t) but that next time we meet I want my dating fiascos to outdo his dating fiascos.

It’s not really a hard choice.  I signed up for 6 months on the site. I’m only half way through my third.  So there will be more dating fiascos to come.

[Online] Dating: Well That Was Awkward

I recently had a weeklong whirlwind fling  courtship relationship thing.

The short version is this: We emailed a couple of times over a Saturday and Sunday.  He asked for my number and I gave it to him, he called on Monday.  We had a pretty great phone conversation and decided to meet up for a quick dinner that night.  We saw eachother again for drinks Wednesday night and then the true man revealed himself Friday and that was it.  Except for the phone call a couple days later where I made it clear that we would not be seeing eachother again. 

However the longer version is needed to understand a few key points. 

After our first dinner he walked me to my car and somehow (don’t ask me how because I just don’t know) we ended up making out in my car like teenagers. When I got home I walked past a mirror and saw HICKEYS on my neck.  SERIOUSLY what self respecting 26 year-old gets hickeys!?  (in places not covered by clothing) So for a week I was forced to wear scarves, although I love scarves so I guess it was okay. 

Wednesday we met up for drinks at a new(ish) bar down the street from several bars I frequent.  Being that it was Wednesday I made sure to not go to the bar that IT-Guy frequents for Wednesday night trivia.  New(ish) bar is actually only a few blocks down but I was pretty confident the chances for running in to him were slim to none.  Until we were walking out for the night and my date decided it would be best for us to walk to his car together and then he’d drive me back to my car since I hadn’t lucked into a steller parking spot.  As we’re walking I realize the bar he parked in front of is…YOU GUESSED IT.  And who should be standing out front?  Well thankfully not IT-Guy but unfortunately IT-Guys friend who says hi and attempts pleasantries.  On the drive to my car my dates asks what that was about I explain he gets jealous and possessive AFTER TWO DATES.  I explain to him that he needs to chill out we barely know eachother.  He apologizes.  I wasn’t going to see him again after that it was too wierd. But my debit card fell out of my pocket in his car.

So Friday I meet him at his house so I can get my card back. He invites me in and tries the whole “back rub” ploy.  Did you know there was a such thing as bad back rubs? OMG I wasn’t sure if i should yelp in pain or just laugh.  After I very polietly got him to stop touching me we talked for a few minutes when he jumped into the possessive thing again and in a manner of moments he managed to offend me and scare me all at the same time.  So I left. 

 

Rules Are Made To Be Broken

I don’t date those in the service industry.  Now before you jump on me for being elitist or whatever let me explain.

If I see a waiter, bartender, bouncer, etc at a a bar, club, restaurant it means I like to go there.  If i date him and it goes badly (which it will i mean HELLO have you even been paying attention?) I can’t go there anymore.  How much would it suck to lose my favorite bar in a break up? I mean I already avoid a certain bar one day a week because my ex goes there for trivia night I’d hate to have a avoid my favorite places ALL the time.

I recently told Jake, my #1 favorite bartender that I was super glad none of us (us being the group of friends I go to that bar with) ever slept with him.  I came out kinda bitchy, but I meant it in a nice way.  So imagine my surprise when I entered the bar the other day to see Jake and Betch training a new bartender; a bartender I want to date. 

I know I know I can’t date him. BUT BUT BUT…

And so it began. 

Recon mission 1 – successful.  Target was present and it has been determined he is straight.

Recon mission 2- fail. Target was no present however sources semi-close to the target report he is more than likely single… so i guess not a total fail.

I can’t beleive I’m stalking a bartender.  The good news is this is a bar we go to because 1 we love it but 2 its proximity to our classes.  I only have 1.5 quarters left of classes so if i screw this up too badly I may be able to survive.

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